i was sitting inside

at work, at the restaurant, in the back booth. the rain was spitting everywhere and i was eating a pizza and drinking pomegranate juice. my dad was sitting with me talking but he got up and left. i was in the big booth solo.
i looked out the window at the rain rolling down and moving down the posts and leaves and trunks and glass and people. my mind went off into some state where the chains are removed. then i started thinking about how i want to be indoors, relaxing and just watching the rain and thinking and dreaming. how nice that would be.

then i realized: i am indoors, relaxing, just watching the rain and dreaming. and i realized how nice it was.


desire is a strange devil which teases you as it teases you as it satisfies you. sometimes you get tricked and think you don't have what you want or you aren't where you should be or you aren't what you should be...maybe sometimes it isn't a trick.
...it's getting hard to be someone
but i think it all works out but i think it still matters to me,
kind of.